Tuesday 27 March 2012

Dining with Donors in Downing Street

What's all the fuss about, we may ask, when reading of the Peter Cruddas resignation and the tales of exactly how the UK governing class are said to be interacting with those who finance their hopes of re-election? Isn't that what politicians do? Of course, there may be no defending the attributed comments as to how much cash would be necessary to rub shoulders at the highest level, but it all has an air of farce about it. A tale of merriment for the coming of spring. Which neatly leads into a parody of Poisoning Pigeons In The Park, one of Tom Lehrer's finest works: -

Spring is here, spring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year
Is the spring. I do. Don't you? Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
That makes every springtime a treat for me

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon
When we're dining with donors in Downing Street
Every weekend you'll see
My Chancellor and me
As we're dining with donors in Downing Street
When we see them coming
We really should try and hide
But we still go for wallets
With great power to buy inside
The future is bright
Everything seems so right
When we're dining with donors in Downing Street

We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In ordinary society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names
But we care not a jot for these moaners
When we're wining and dining the donors

So if Sunday you're free
You'll see George, Sam and me
When we're dining with donors in Downing Street
And we'll set a pew
For a tycoon or two
When we're dining with donors in Downing Street
We'll rake in their cash amid laughter and merriment -
The logical sequel to Labour's experiment -
Our pulse will go funny
When we're shown the money
Ignoring the groaners
The whingers and moaners
We're dining the donors in Downing Street!

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